“Big Big Love” and fat sexuality

My friend Hanne Blank is an author and scholar with far-reaching interests and tastes.  She has written a history of virginity, and has a history of heterosexuality coming out in early 2012, but she has also written and edited books of erotica.  Rumor has it that she may be working on a project about exercising while fat, among other tidbits.

Her most current book, however, is a total re-write and re-issue of “Big Big Love,” her legendary book first published over a decade ago about sex and sexual issues for fat people.  She has completely updated the copy and the lists of resources.  Her recent interview in Salon gives her take on why this book is necessary, including the taboos and shame surrounding even the idea of fat people being sexual beings. 

As a teacher of human sexuality, and a fat (not to mention sexual) woman myself, I was incredibly excited to hear that Hanne was re-issuing this book, and can’t wait to use it with my students, supervisees, and clients.  I was also honored to be asked to contribute a sidebar interview about handling the intrusive comments, advice, and criticisms fat people sometimes get from family and intimate partners, as well as the self-doubt and fears about sex and dating that many fat people feel.

At her blog, she writes:

There is no prerequisite level of self-confidence or body love that you must attain first in order to [be sexual].

It’s a bit like what Mrs. Avoirdupois says about having a “beach body”:  ”Have a body, take it to the beach!  How often the simple solutions elude us!”

How do you have a happily sexual body?  Have a body.  Have sexual experiences with it and in it, and see what there is to enjoy about those experiences.  See if you can figure out ways to experience more of the enjoyable stuff.

Amazon didn’t deliver my copy today – hurry up, Amazon!


2 thoughts on ““Big Big Love” and fat sexuality”

  1. Tristan says:

    That book sounds really fantastic, I’ll have to check it out. Looking forward to reading your take on it.

    1. admin says:

      My copy finally got here today! I wish the publisher hadn’t called me a “psychologist” but they did say I have a “specialization in marriage and family therapy.” It’s weird reading a condensation of your own writing that you did months and months ago – I can’t tell if it sounds like me or not! Can’t wait to read the rest of the book too.

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